Conversations

"..., is there someone else?"
Me: No, just the dream of someone else.

"All the things I've ever thought about you are gathered here in this ink.
and all the things I've ever silently wished about you are gathered here in the spaces between the ink."

"I've gotten it wrong more times than I would have liked, and I've been hurt more times than I can even count or remember. But what has come from all those experiences of getting it wrong and being hurt over and over again, is who I am today. I am a woman who is wiser, a woman who is more aware, one who knows exactly what I want, but most importantly I have learned."

P.Williams

"I am deserving of a love that I don't have to question, a love I don't have to think twice about. I am deserving, deserving of a love I am capable of giving as much as I am open to receiving. I deserve a love I don't have to go to war for, but one worth fighting for, a love that will make us both feel completely safe." @herheartwritesopenly

Love Me Always

You must love me on my bad days, when I'm moody and irritated, just as much as you love me when everything is going well.

It is already written

When he finds you, you will know he was made for you and he is the one God was preparing for you all along while you prepared and patiently waited. You will know by how he makes you feel and you won't feel like you're losing yourself but instead becoming completed.

The one for me hasn't quite found me yet but I can only imagine how I would feel, because it will be ordained by God, I won't have to question it or be unsure because he will be ready.

He will honor me and he will love me and I will do the same for him. I don't want perfection because I know it doesn't exist, I desire willingness and a heart that knows exactly what he wants, unafraid to pursue me and unashamed to LOVE me openly. Until then I will continue to do what I know I must do and not question or wonder about when my time will be. It is already written, we just have to continue walking our path towards our destiny.

"It's ok to be vulnerable.

It's ok to be Flawed.

It's ok to be hurt.

It's ok to live.

But never stop loving."

Q.Gibson

Someday I will look back and know exactly why it had to happen.

Wishful thinking

"..just for tonight
let me pretend
we are so much more
& tangled bed sheets are possible
& holding hands won't knot you
& we could steal a little time from the hour glass
& teach fate a few lessons
& give everyone the middle finger on our way out."

Kat Savage

Be Inspired

“Love someone because their soul inspires you, not because you’re interested in the relief from loneliness and companionship they can provide.

 Anybody can do that. Not just anybody can show you to yourself.”

Brianna Wiest

" If she only wants you, don't worry about who wants her."

What is Real Love?

“Love is soul work. Love can be met and joined with attraction and infatuation and all of that, but love will not fade when those things do. 

You can choose to close your heart to love, and run away, and avoid it for as long as you can in every way you can think of but if it was really, truly, the other-worldly, almost supernatural kind of love that we can only hope to be graced with at least once in this life experience, 

it will not leave you. 

You can love many people, but at the end of the day, the love you need to choose is the love that, even if you close your heart to, still moves you. 

The love you still write about. 

The love you can’t face. 

The love you’re still not okay with losing, that you’re angry about; the love that uprooted your life and contorted your being. 

The love you ran away from because it showed you who you are without the guise of worth given from someone else. 

This is love because these are all signs that you are closing your heart and to be doing so, there has to be something going through you for you to be able to close off. 

Real love will be the love you realize that remains even after you close your heart to it, because it sustains itself. It drives you forward. It brings up all the unhealed parts of you that you have to reconcile.”

 Brianna Wiest

As Advised by Our First Lady

"Be focus in life and get what you feel you deserve. You deserve to have a fulfilling career and if you cannot match that with a man who deserves you, then you shouldn't try to, it will come."

Monica Geingos

Newspaper Report

I knew I loved you when I started making excuses for the way you hurt me.

You ruin your life by tolerating it

"You ruin your life by tolerating it. At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you innately desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you, and in that way you cheat both yourself and the world of your potential. The next Michelangelo could be sitting behind a Macbook right now writing an invoice for paperclips, because it pays the bills, or because it is comfortable, or because he can tolerate it.

Do not let this happen to you. 

Do not ruin your life this way. 

Life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of each other. 

They are intrinsically linked. We have to strive to do extraordinary work, we have to strive to find extraordinary love. Only then will we tap into an extraordinarily blissful life."

Brianna Wiest

You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself.

"You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how, you love. There is courage in that."

Brianna Wiest

You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others.

"You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others. The amount of Instagram followers you have does not decrease or increase your value. The amount of money in your bank account will not influence your compassion, your intelligence, or your happiness. The person who has two times more possessions than you does not have double the bliss, or double the merit. We get caught up in what our friends are liking, who our significant others are following, and at the end of the day this not only ruins our lives, but it also ruins us. It creates within us this need to feel important, and in many cases we often put others down to achieve that."

Brianna Wiest

You ruin your life by letting your past govern it.

"You ruin your life by letting your past govern it. It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren't special or purposeful. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick. You cannot let these define you – they were simply moments, they were simply words. If you allow for every negative event in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively. You will miss out on opportunities because you didn't get that promotion five years ago, convincing yourself that you were stupid. You will miss out on affection because you assumed your past love left you because you weren't good enough, and now you don’t believe the man or the woman who urges you to believe you are. This is a cyclic, self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was said, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving, and fueling a perception that shouldn't have existed in the first place."

Brianna Wiest

You ruin your life by choosing the wrong person.

 "You ruin your life by choosing the wrong person. What is it with our need to fast-track relationships? Why are we so enamored with the idea of first becoming somebody’s rather than somebodies? Trust me when I say that a love bred out of convenience, a love that blossoms from the need to sleep beside someone, a love that caters to our need for attention rather than passion, is a love that will not inspire you at 6am when you roll over and embrace it. Strive to discover foundational love, the kind of relationship that motivates you to be a better man or woman, the kind of intimacy that is rare rather than right there. “But I don’t want to be alone,” we often exclaim. Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience."

Brianna Wiest

" I don't want to settle. 

I want mindfucking love. 

I want to spend all night thinking about kissing you, 

and when I finally get the balls to, 

I want to go deaf to everything but that moment. 

I refuse to settle for anything less."

Still Hopeless

"You learned that I was a hopeless romantic, and you used it to your advantage.
You took that knowledge, and you ran with it; as well as my heart.
I can now understand why you needed it, since you never had one in the first place.
I'm still hopeless and because of you, a little more heartless." Megan Lawrence

And in return, I want it too

"I want to grow with you, to see how much we can thrive together.
I want to help you fight for your dreams, and see them come to life.
I want to be there for you, when it all seems too much.
I want to be the voice that reminds you of the hope.
I want to make you smile and laugh, to experience joy every day.
I want to be real with you, to open myself and lay down my armor.
I want quiet nights, filled with sweet nothings.
I want days filled with you, and I want to continue seeing you, in your weakest or in your strongest,
I want to be there with you."

A Sorry Is Not Enough

"Can a sorry glue back glass?

After being shattered into pieces?

Can a sorry repair a car after being crashed without remorse?

Can a sorry mend a bond after it's been shredded to its final cord?

How I would Love for a simple sorry to be the answer for all the resentment I have shamefully held inside. Unfortunately, my heart is stubborn and my scars remind me, how a sorry is simply, 

not enough."

Mirtha Michelle

Like A Fool

Its crazy how, when you're love-swept

you'll do anything for the one you love,

'cause anytime you needed me,

I'd be there.

March Forth

Today is the only day that tells us what to do, 

March 4th...

Today a year ago, I did just that.

I took a leap of faith.

Today, a whole year later, 

I find myself pondering as to how one could be so in love the one moment 

then completely shattered the next.

Today, I let go 

of what I thought should have happened,

and live for what is happening.

Today I move,
onward and forward.

Not By Default

"...I don't want to be picked by default, I want to be someone's first choice.
I might not be yours, but I know I'm someone's..."

N. Bedingfield

Desperate Attempts

"When it comes to past lovers, sometimes it isn't worth trying to show them what they lost or what they could have had. Remember, you were always that, they didn't care then and they won't care now."

Emerge Fashion Show

Receiving public recognition for a job well done, fuels my passion even further. Here is an article from The Namibian Newspaper, about the Emerge Fashion Show I part took in, last year.

 

"Designers Pull Out All the Stops for Emerge Fashion Show

Namibia's talented crop of fashion designers showed their creative prowess as they showcased showstopper after showstopper at the first ever Emerge Fashion Show. Held at the Franco Namibian Cultural Centre (FNCC), the event was truly spectacular, with the settings for the ramp, lighting and all other logistics running smoother than a well oiled engine.
With Windhoek's fash pack coming out in full force to witness the event, no time was wasted in showing them what their favourite designers have been up to for the year.

First up on the list was Chakirra Claasen, whose collection was made up of her signature couture garments in warm colours and textures. She drew inspiration from the Namibian landscape for this collection, which she plans to build on for a future fashion show.

Upcoming designers like Jaimee-Lee Diergaardt were also a force to reckon with. Diergaardt stunned the crowd with bright, colourful, happy pieces. Her take on the ball gown is very lively, with a splash of colour and unusual cut-outs.

Other up-and-comers equally shone. Leah Misika's line is reminiscent of 40s Hollywood glamour, with tassles that render flirty movement on her very modern garments. If you were expecting anything earthy from Lafika Joyce Heita this time around, you were in for a surprise. The multitasking designer opted for blue hues when it came to her trademark way of adding her own colour to the textiles she uses..."

To read the full story, follow the link http://www.namibian.com.na
 THE WEEKENDER - FASHION | 2014-11-07

Building walls

I constantly find myself going through a stage in my life whereby I built walls.

I am starting to question who I am protecting, me or them?

Am I afraid to get hurt? Or so afraid to hurt another that I'd rather keep them at arms length, with the belief I'm doing them a favour?

Irrespective, walls I build.

Free Me

"Lord, break me free from jealously. 

Free me from insecurity. 

So that I can love again.

Free me from anger.

Free me from doubt. 

So I can see again.

Free me from 'nevers.'

Free me from me, from myself. 

So I can live again. 

Lord, free my soul."

d.d.lee

Uricke

She was just a girl.
A flower picked to soon.
Never allowed to blossom, never allowed to fully bloom.
Picked before her time, a flower so delicate, so pure.
Stolen from our meadow, starved of the love needed.
No more will we see her petals of absolute beauty that only her heart could hold.

*02/03/1994

+25/11/2013

Numb and Fine

The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.

"It hurts until it doesn't. 

You think it's going to break you, but it won't. 

You may not sleep as well at night, but you will be fine. 

Numb, but numb and fine are the same."

Scandal

Okay with not being okay.

If letting go of things were easy, a lot of people wouldn't be reminiscing on things that still hurts.

"Accept your heartbreak. One can not stop pain. Pain is meant to be felt. Cry if you must.  Let it consume you if you must, and then allow it to be over..."

Don't be concerned with forgetting, moving on, letting go or anything people tell you that you need to do.You will do it in your own time,if you need to. It will happen when the time is right and no matter how much you want to control things, you can't.

"...Say goodbye after having fully experienced it. Learn from it, learn the meaning of decisions. Afterwards, you will admire your courage and your strength. Then you'll never allow anyone to break you in the same way again. " Mirtha Michelle

So, if there is something to let go of, let it be the pressure you have given yourself to feel nothing/get over/be at a certain point in your healing. Its okay to not be okay. Its okay to not be ready to let go.

Picture

Embrace the uncertainty

"If you're feeling frightened about what comes next, in all aspects of your life, don't be. 

Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness; don't waste time with regret.

Spin wildly into your next action. 

Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes, because you'll never get another one quite like it.

And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. 

Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart... 

Where your hope lives."

You will find your way again.

Life Long

My life long goal in life is to be happy. 

Genuinely, intensely and consistently happy, regardless of what that looks like to others.

2015

"And suddenly you know...It's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings"